Why Having a Drink “To Calm Your Nerves” is Perfectly Wrong For Anyone’s Perfect Wedding Ceremony
There are a lot of great reasons to have a drink before your wedding ceremony. And unless it’s water, almost all of them are wrong.
The number one responsibility you have at your wedding, after you’ve done all the work you did to prepare for it is to be present. Alcohol interrupts your ability to be present. That’s true when you’re the bride and groom. You want to stand before your community, clear-hearted, clear-headed and clear-eyed, to make your wedding vows to live in loving marriage forever. It’s true when you’re the wedding attendants. The attendants’ major job once the wedding ceremony starts is to be present as witnesses to the promises being made. During the reception, the bride and groom have work to do and they’re going to need their attendants’ support. it’s also true when you’re guests.
Here are some of the ways alcohol messes things up beyond that most-important presence thing. There are more. If you’ve been to weddings, you may well have encountered them.
* Pictures: I’ve heard I don’t know how many fuming photographers screaming because they’ve gone to get pictures of the bride and her buds, pre-wedding, and they’ve been drinking. Not only are your features unnaturally relaxed by a very little alcohol, it does something weird to your make-up. I don’t know the chemical problem, but when you get those pictures? Here’s the bad news. That IS what you looked like and your photographer took great pictures of it.
Last drink as a free man
* Last drink as a free man/and now sometimes woman: What does that mean? People no longer are marrying people they’ve never met in family arranged marriages. That’s where that comes from. You are marrying the person you have dreamed of marrying for a long time. It’s time to be hooked on the feeling. Don’t let alcohol anywhere near it.
* Behavior: Hopefully by the time you’re getting married, you’re a grown-up. So looking at weddings as a great opportunity for free alcohol is pretty childish. That great photographer is strolling around and although she doesn’t want to take pictures of people falling into the wedding cake or onto the bassist’s $10,000 instrument, sometimes it’s difficult not to.
Inappropriate sexual conduct, arguments, fist-fights, passing out, none of them make you a great bride or groom, attendant or guest. What passes for truth-telling under the influence is often inappropriate breach of confidence or pure flat-out meanness. And isn’t that a lovely memory to have attached to your wedding.
While all of this can make weddings interesting
While all of this can make weddings interesting, it doesn’t make them wonderful. It does not provide the couple the support and celebration their great romance deserves and that their marriage is going to need. You can only monitor your behavior. But if you understand this wedding as a sacred celebration of this couple’s union of hearts and lives, maybe you’ll concentrate more on the celebration and less on your inalienable right to consume alcohol. I hope so, for everyone’s sakes.
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it!
Calm Your Nerves