Historically, brides have been producer, director and even stagehand when it comes to wedding planning
Historically, brides have been producer, director and even stagehand when it comes to wedding planning. Why the role of wedding planner is frequently filled by the bride is a whole other (and sometimes sensitive) topic, and I’m by no means saying that brides are obligated to fill this role (as I don’t have a death wish), as grooms are just as capable of doing the planning. I’m just stating the simple fact that brides usually do most of the wedding planning, and mostly because they see it as a true labor of love.
However, although women usually enjoy the dress shopping, cake sampling
However, although women usually enjoy the dress shopping, cake sampling, venue browsing and other activities associated with being the wedding planner, planning a wedding is a big endeavor, and they do often tire of all the work and effort required. So when they see their groom-to-be watching the game with his buddies on a Sunday afternoon while she’s busy researching color schemes and pulling together guest addresses, it’s no wonder when she gets fired up and a wee bit resentful.
Your wedding – in fact, your entire marriage
Your wedding – in fact, your entire marriage – is a shared experience, so shouldn’t the planning for it also be shared in some way? Now, most guys I know certainly wouldn’t be able to withstand more than 10 minutes of flower arrangement shopping or comparing wedding invitation paper samples, but there are more than a few wedding planning tasks that are perfect for the groom, starting with…
1. Picking the menu – Lots of guys now like to cook, and most of us are pretty hearty eaters, so it only makes sense that we can provide a reasonable opinion on what should be served at our wedding. Because brides fear (and sometimes for good reason) that if this decision were left solely to the groom everyone would be dining on hot dogs, onion rings and M&Ms, it makes sense that both of you screen all the caterers together and make a joint decision.
Negotiating with vendors
2. Negotiating with vendors – Most guys have been haggling with car dealers for a fair amount of their adult lives, and we can be a great help to our brides when it comes to negotiating prices for everything from rings to venues.
Selecting the alcohol
3. Selecting the alcohol – Often we guys seem unnaturally preoccupied with what we drink, and to call us picky would be a gross understatement. A Bud guy would never be seen sipping at a Coors. A Jack connoisseur would have to swallow hard to stoop to Jim. And so on. Because this topic is of such interest to many of us, we could certainly take on the role of working with the caterer/venue to arrange for the alcohol (as long as we remember the champagne toast).
Choosing a DJ
4. Choosing a DJ – Whether it’s AC/DC, Sinatra or Beethoven, guys love their tunes. Women do, too, so again, this decision should be shared, but you should both give potential DJ vendors a listen so the music at your wedding doesn’t become your first huge disagreement.
Anything that requires unskilled labor
5. Anything that requires unskilled labor – We may not be good at choosing cake designs or bridal veils, but we can rock the house when it comes to stuffing envelopes, applying stamps, arranging placards, hanging decorations, carrying chairs and tables and the like. What’s important here is that grooms take the initiative and do these things without being prodded by your bride, as it’s the fact that she has to prod you that irks her more than anything. To be her assistant wedding planner, you need to be attuned to what needs to get done and just do it. Trust me, she will love you for it in the end.
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